Significant Event
You know how everyone says that when something horrible is happening you all of a sudden begin to see everything in slow motion? Or how when you die you see your life flash before your eyes? Well, Dani didn't believe in any of that she thought it was just some big fat joke everyone pretended to believe in but never truly did. For 15 years, Dani would stay true to her beliefs and refuse to believe in any of those things and who knows maybe she would for the rest of her life, if only things had gone differently that day, maybe things would be the same now, but to understand the meaning of all this you've had to know what happened to make her change her opinion on all this.
It all started on an early Sunday morning which meant that Dani was still asleep everything seemed normal until then but then her cell phone rang. Of course, she didn't hear it given the circumstances of it being an early Sunday morning and the fact that Dani sleeps like a bear hibernates, but unlike Dani her dad that wakes up with the slightest of sounds made it to her cell phone just in time to answer it.
"Dani, wake up Paulina is calling you." whispered her dad in hopes of waking her up
"Tell her I'm going to sleep all day." remarked Dani with no intention whatsoever of waking up.
Apparently that didn't seem to go well with her father who instead of telling Paulina, Dani's friend the sleeping thing he said
"Of course she can go she'll be there in five." Dani heard her dad say
How could he! Dani thought, her father knew she didn't move on Sundays, but apparently she was going to have to on this one. It wasn't as bad as she thought she realized when her father told her that Paulina had invited her to a ranch. After she finished getting ready, they were off and before she realized it they were at Paulina's doorstep. Dani had never been to a ranch before, but she did have a really good imagination so all the way there she made up scenarios in her head of what the ranch would look like. The ranch was pretty much everything she thought except for the smell, never in a million years had she smelled something more unpleasant no offense to the cows she thought to herself but they should bathe more often. After a while Dani realized she wasn't even aware of the smell anymore so everything went back to being perfect.
"Let's go ride the motorcycles." said Paulina excitedly
As they made their way to the motorcycles they saw that a girl was already there. After a few minutes of talking to her they learned that she was friendly and willing to show them how to use the motorcycles and show them around. So they were on their way with Paulina and Dani on one motorcycle and their new friend on another, after a while they got the hang of it and decided to go a little faster. After a few turns, they lost their new friend and were now on their own. Everything seemed fine until they came upon a curvy turn, none of them seeing it until the very last minute. At that moment, Dani remembered how she thought all that slow motion thing was a load of lies and realized how ironic it all seemed. The motorcycle was going way to fast to even think about stopping so they took the turn and reasonably fell. It all most have happened in about 3 seconds but to the two friends it was an eternity seeing how the motorcycle stopped all of a sudden making them fall to the ground facedown. Ridiculous as it may seem, though, thought Dani to herself she could have sworn she saw her life flash behind her eyes not a very long or exciting one at that, the most significant event in her life being the one that she thought was going to kill her. After a few minutes, she realized she wasn't dead or severely injured more like scared out of her mind. The same thing could not be said for her other friend whose foot was stuck under the motorcycle
"GET IT OFF ME!" yelled her friend at no one in particular just wanting to get away.
After a few futile attempts at lifting the motorcycle, Dani decided that she wasn't going to be able to get it off herself and went looking for help. Once again failing she returned, only to find that her friend had freed herself. After that, they went so slow Dani thought she had seen a few snails pass them on the way. Everything went back to normal after that, the two friends pretended that nothing had ever happened and went their separate ways at the end of the day. But to Dani that was the day that made her change her opinion and to this day she still thinks of how maybe if they hadn't been going so fast or maybe if she hadn't gone at all would something else happen to make her change her mind or would she still think it was all a joke? But as they say, the past is in the past and there's no time like the present so Dani decided to just file this under a significant day in her life and go on with her life.
I liked the beginning , I found it very interesting and it catches the reader's attention.Check for punctuation mistakes. I liked that you put me in your writing.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your blog, but remember that you have to tell the reader why does the reader care? It was awesome the way you narrate the event! good job!
ReplyDeleteI like your introduction, it makes me want to keep on reading. Good job with your dialogues, I like the way you use capital letters for yelling and you used them correctly. You are very good at narrative writing, I loved your post!
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